So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
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She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
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On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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