oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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