Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
