MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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