Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
