My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
