I think i sorta joined a cult last night
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
