i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
high people should be assigned attendants
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
