I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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