are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
