I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
