Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
