He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You may now shotgun with the bride
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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