I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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