Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
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do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
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We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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