it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."