Texts From Last Night

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  (386): View more from Florida

  Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm

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  (386): Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm http://tfl.nu/fmji
  Replies (12) Good night (607) Bad night (4209)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena

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  (386): i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena http://tfl.nu/u4d0
  Replies (42) Good night (7470) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell

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  (615): jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell http://tfl.nu/zqhf
  Replies (51) Good night (1321) Bad night (3496)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.

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  (732): a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove. http://tfl.nu/qfpc
  Replies (11) Good night (4240) Bad night (1208)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid

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  (201): bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid http://tfl.nu/hxiy
  Replies (22) Good night (911) Bad night (4489)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan

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  (361): like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan http://tfl.nu/pxmf
  Replies (15) Good night (2455) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?

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  (701): Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it? http://tfl.nu/2zni
  Replies (9) Good night (2662) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out

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  (765): Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out http://tfl.nu/pydc
  Replies (8) Good night (860) Bad night (2988)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...

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  (757): i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ... http://tfl.nu/nc8q
  Replies (19) Good night (2073) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?

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  (860): Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress? http://tfl.nu/gpyt
  Replies (9) Good night (1615) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours

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  (215): took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours http://tfl.nu/otx8
  Replies (8) Good night (3201) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?

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  (805): Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin? http://tfl.nu/mg03
  Replies (7) Good night (558) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...

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  (704): He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was... http://tfl.nu/35ga
  Replies (3) Good night (841) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  So when can I meet her?

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  (505): There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker. (1-505): So when can I meet her? http://tfl.nu/qfle
  Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (173)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.

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  (907): Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood. http://tfl.nu/d01c
  Replies (3) Good night (544) Bad night (168)

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