Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.

(419): View more from Ohio

I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.

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(513): I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth. (419): I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat. http://tfl.nu/rzvc

Replies (10) Good night (2930) Bad night (600)
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(775): View more from Nevada

What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?

(1-775): View more from Nevada

A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!

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(775): What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS? (1-775): A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass! http://tfl.nu/lvgp

Replies (16) Good night (1685) Bad night (2482)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Are you okay?

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.

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(908): Are you okay? (508): Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry. http://tfl.nu/ztu1

Replies (19) Good night (3274) Bad night (654)
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(303): View more from Colorado

meet me or not, i'm out of control

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(303): meet me or not, i'm out of control http://tfl.nu/t1zj

Replies (29) Good night (3438) Bad night (691)
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(559): View more from California

I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?

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(559): I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day? http://tfl.nu/b9nt

Replies (182) Good night (21414) Bad night (2810)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.

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(513): Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud. http://tfl.nu/fmdm

Replies (96) Good night (13403) Bad night (2347)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.

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(773): I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do. http://tfl.nu/ja9q

Replies (12) Good night (2350) Bad night (4230)
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(530): View more from California

Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.

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(530): Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe. http://tfl.nu/c8em

Replies (14) Good night (6271) Bad night (1567)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us

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(902): I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us http://tfl.nu/ltgm

Replies (3) Good night (1690) Bad night (552)
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(360): View more from Washington

he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously

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(360): he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously http://tfl.nu/w3a5

Replies (3) Good night (1845) Bad night (529)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...

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(336): Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text... http://tfl.nu/pmgt

Replies (5) Good night (1887) Bad night (472)
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(913): View more from Kansas

"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.

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(913): "Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3cka

Replies (6) Good night (1209) Bad night (426)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus

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(774): I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus http://tfl.nu/kps3

Replies (3) Good night (501) Bad night (769)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I have major gossip for you.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh no, did you have sex last night?

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.

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(570): I have major gossip for you. (1-570): Oh no, did you have sex last night? (570): If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited. http://tfl.nu/1upd

Replies (8) Good night (1426) Bad night (465)
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(623): View more from Arizona

Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.

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(623): Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight. http://tfl.nu/ppb9

Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (388)

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