Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I puked a lego.

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  (603): I puked a lego. http://tfl.nu/7r9h
  Replies (10) Good night (1852) Bad night (2751)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night

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  (908): its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night http://tfl.nu/akir
  Replies (73) Good night (1786) Bad night (5611)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.

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  (630): You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup. http://tfl.nu/bmm0
  Replies (38) Good night (1798) Bad night (6031)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan

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  (815): Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan http://tfl.nu/827h
  Replies (20) Good night (8003) Bad night (1648)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient

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  (830): we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient http://tfl.nu/vzth
  Replies (12) Good night (1239) Bad night (3618)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.

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  (920): sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself. http://tfl.nu/ur25
  Replies (16) Good night (10299) Bad night (1183)
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  (760): View more from California

  I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.

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  (760): I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation. http://tfl.nu/wrn9
  Replies (9) Good night (4157) Bad night (897)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home

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  (918): I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home http://tfl.nu/noo6
  Replies (12) Good night (3530) Bad night (876)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.

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  (303): I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already. http://tfl.nu/emym
  Replies (6) Good night (1119) Bad night (490)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy

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  (519): Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy http://tfl.nu/gpr6
  Replies (6) Good night (571) Bad night (1253)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."

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  (502): There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs." http://tfl.nu/6a8r
  Replies (11) Good night (1184) Bad night (412)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG

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  (256): Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG http://tfl.nu/vp2r
  Replies (5) Good night (495) Bad night (271)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter

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  (+61): im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter http://tfl.nu/2kon
  Replies (1) Good night (535) Bad night (214)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!

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  (479): Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating! http://tfl.nu/g8qn
  Replies (0) Good night (415) Bad night (265)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink

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  (570): I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink http://tfl.nu/cef5
  Replies (1) Good night (497) Bad night (261)

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