Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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