Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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