I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
