Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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