what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He's a Shit stain on my heart
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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