I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
