Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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