You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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