btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
