he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
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i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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