i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i think i have herpe
just one?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
