Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
