My room smells like vodka and shame
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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