Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
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I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
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I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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