you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
