For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize