morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
