Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
