what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
