Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize