WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize