You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Couch. On fire.
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