She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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