Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize