Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
