I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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