do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Someone shattered a urinal.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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