At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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