I think my fart just growled at me.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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