I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
