i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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