i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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