Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Farmville is her only friend.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
