So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
