That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
