Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He is an equal opportunity slut.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
