Dual....:-)
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
