Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
