Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i out mim tonsoeep
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