Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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