it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize