My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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