Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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