he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
