i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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